she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
