You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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