Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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