She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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