So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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