This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is Oprah even human
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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