I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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