love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
