I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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