pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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