Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize