the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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