I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
