I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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