Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
