Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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