Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
