I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
