Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
