I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
is that a dick in a sweater?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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