My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
