he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
