that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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