wakey wakey hands off snakey
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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