when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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