Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
