Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
