I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
