I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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