I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
