Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
