Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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