So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
