No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
