just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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