he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
