Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
