I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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