Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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