Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
