i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
