those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
