You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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