I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
