I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
