i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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