He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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