I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
