I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This house was built for laser tag.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
