i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
