READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize