drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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