White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
