part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
