...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
